19 December 2007

Its a girl (or two)

We had the amniocentesis today. Hopefully everything turns out OK and there will be no Down's Syndrome. We'll find out in three weeks.

We did see lots of images of the fetuses today. Its really hard not to think of them as babies. They look human in many ways, though their only about 6-7 cm long. We could see them rubbing their eyes and stretching or tossing & turning as they tried to sleep. Incredible!

They're both female. With a house full of three women, I'm sure I'll be reduced to being a wallet and a warm bed to sleep on. Not that I mind. :)

15 December 2007

Kate's Meme

Looks like I'm just as retarded about meme's as Kate.

I Never... Try to avoid a topic with those who are close to me.

I Rarely... Can resist (unless its carbs.)

I Cry... When I think of prior relationships.

I Am Not Always... Patient; but, patient just enough.

I Lose... At chess.

I'm Confused... Why we have to choose between Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Evil.

I Miss... Toast, seriously dude.

I Need... Our children to be healthy.

I Should... Finish remodeling this damn kitchen.

I Love... Pork fat, and Hirono.


02 December 2007

Cool City Update

After spending the weekend in Beijing (Haidian district) I have to say that it is pretty cool place to hang out. Good food, beautiful women, very lively atmosphere. Haidian is kind of like the Times Square or Shinjuku area. Still, it doesn't really hold a candle to either Tokyo or NYC for over-the-top awesomeness.

Strange thing here in China, the people are a mixture of very liberal/accepting and very conservative/frightened.

One interesting story happened today. I was hanging out in a cafe drinking a cup of coffee with a young lady and her daughter (just happened to be sharing a table together.) She spoke broken english and had no problem with my leather outfit, long hair or earring. She even approached me and started the conversation. The "one child" rule seemed to have hit her pretty hard. She claimed to have come back from the countryside about six months ago after giving birth to her son, her second child. She didn't know his name because she had to give him up to a peasant family. The whole pregnancy and birth was hidden, without a doctor. Otherwise the government would have forced an abortion. Pretty harsh.

25 November 2007

Why is it that...

... whenever I'm in India there is an earthquake right near by? This one was about 10 km from my hotel room. Luckily I was awake from jet lag anyway.

edited: for some reason the link isn't showing. If you need to cut & paste: http://earthquake.usgs.gov/eqcenter/recenteqsww/Quakes/us2007kdb6.php

24 November 2007

What to do differently

Toast passed on meme from Kona God at: .

What 5 things would you rather be doing in life if you weren't doing what you do now?

In no particular order:

(1) Sculptor - I've always loved sculpture but only experimented with it a few times. I'm proud to say that everything I've ever tried has turned out quite nicely.

(2) Furniture Design/Interior Design - Again, something that I seem to be pretty good at. Our house is decorated in 20th century Modern style, with a slant including plenty of intense, fiery colors. Some of the furniture is designed and made by my own hands.

(3) Rock Star - Who can resist? I'd definitely be a dirty rock star in the tradition of Motley Crue. Singer (at which I suck) or bass player.

(4) Park Ranger - This one is stolen from Toast; but, still appropriate. As long as I could bring my pipe with me I'd be plenty happy.

(5) Social Entrepreneur - This is one that has been sitting in the back of my head for a few years stewing. I'd love to start a non-profit NGO. The problem is, how do I begin and how do I do it without dramatically changing my lifestyle? Any ideas?

17 November 2007

Short and To The Point



08 November 2007

You Know What?


Fuck them! Democrats, bite me. I'm sick of them. A bunch of weak, spineless do-nothings. Truth to tell, I'm beginning to really wonder if its worse having a Republican in charge of the White House. Both sides are not the same; but, are the Republicans really much worse?

28 October 2007


Now for something fun. We're trying to come up with good names for the upcoming twins. We had previously picked out one girls name and one boys name; but, with twins it looks like we'll have to think a bit more about extra names for each gender. The names already settled upon are accessible for both English and Japanese speakers. Note: I now pronounce my last name "wild", like Oscar Wilde.

Lin Taro Wilde (male)
Leah Wilde (female, no middle name)

For the Japanese equivalent the family name would change to Hirono's family name, Mogi. Kana versions of the names would be:

mogi rintarou
mogi reia

Additional names are a bit hard. Got any fun names or names that would work in both Japanese and English. Names nobody in their right mind would be fun, too; such as "Saxon Wilde", the future hair metal guitarist.

25 October 2007

Core Engineering Management Responsibiities

I think I found two core responsibilities of management at Adobe:

(1) You always stay on top of things and try to push them forward to the best of your ability.
(2) You build your company assets with care. Company assets for software are really the people that work here. That explicitly means you develop people in whatever capacity they do best.

That's for daily team leadership. There’s more around vision and risk taking, though I’ve not yet been able to distill that into a single sentence.

19 October 2007

Twins, here we come

Fantastic news today! We had another ultra sound and were able to see heartbeats for both embryos. We now have a 90%+ chance for each embryo to survive.

There’s still the worry of Down’s Syndrome, which is about 1/60 for each embryo. The test for Down’s Syndrome has a 1/300 chance for resulting in miscarriage, which is pretty scary. Living with two handicapped children the rest of our lives is out of the question, though. So we don’t have much of a choice.

Off to Michigan for the next few days to enjoy a bit of colorful foliage. Cheers!

15 October 2007

Ah... Whiskey

Its been a couple of months since the last time I had a drink. I broke the fast with Macallan 18, double, neat. No better way to go.


12 October 2007

Some Relief

Some good news. We have two embryos that survived thus far. We don't have to worry about being outnumbered by babies anymore. Now we need these two to survive.

One embryo already has a heartbeat, so its strong and growing faster than average. Since this embryo has a heartbeat, its chance of survival dramatically jumps higher right now.

The other embryo doesn't yet have a heartbeat. Heartbeats start on average on day 3 of week 6. We're currently on day 1 of week 6, so there is still a decent chance of survival for the second embryo.

Although we're not out of the woods yet, I'm definitely relieved.

11 October 2007

Anxiety climbs higher

So far the symptoms continue. Hirono is still a little sick and always tired. But she's more beautiful than I've ever seen her.

Tomorrow is the sonic scan to see how many embryos survived and are growing. Its clear there is at least one. I'll not be relieved until I hear from the sonic scan. Work and news take me away from the worry sometimes, not that work isn't without its worries.


06 October 2007

So Far So Good

We just finished week five of the pregnancy. So far so good. Hirono's totally wiped out but happier than I've ever seen her. There are a couple more weeks of high probability of miscarriage, then the odds start to move in our favor. We won't know how many embryos survived for a little while yet. Within the month we should start to hear heartbeats.

I'm starting to become very nervous.


03 October 2007

Something practicle to hope for for Congress


If Richardson decides to run for the Senate, I hope he doesn't bow out of the Presidency until every last Democratic candidate commits to withdrawal from Iraq. It has to be done.


28 September 2007

Here's a question

What do we do about down's syndrome? Assuming we do end up with a child, right now there is a significant chance of us having at least one child with down's syndrome. Greater than 1%. With possibly three embryos, that means there is a small chance of multiple down's syndrome children. Terrifying, yes.

Most parents who find that their child has down's syndrome early in the pregnancy end up terminating the pregnancy. Given the difficulty we have creating a viable embryo, is it worth the chance of not having another child at all? That depends on what we, as parents, want to get out of creating a living human being. Knowing that my drive for having a child is primarily instinctual, I would say having a healthy and productive child is important. I may possibly prefer instinctually to bring no life into this world rather than to bring a burden into this world.

What about the embryo's life? It's not close to viable life outside the womb by the time we can discover down's syndrome. Its hard to truly call it a child, though at some point it becomes more definitively human. Given that I felt a sense of responsibility for the life of 8 celled organisms, I suspect that I will want to keep the embryo with down’s syndrome alive as well.

Tough call.

--e (forgot the all important stoned e)

27 September 2007

OK. Now what do I need do.

The pregnancy test showed positive today. Time to start learning about what I need to do for the next twenty years (hopefully.)


23 September 2007

Update on the parenthood thing

Just to keep all my wonderful readers informed, all zero of you, we only implanted three embryos. There were four good embryos; but, the statistics are such that only implanting three and freezing one for later use yields a better chance of a live birth. So that’s what we’re doing. We won’t know until Thursday, 27 November, if the embryos successfully implanted. More later.

If you resist totalitarianism, you are not a Patriot

I’m tired of all the “you’re not a patriot if....” nonsense. You know what? I’m not a patriot. I loathe patriotism and nationalism as a disease of the heart. It causes hatred and war as much as religion or race. You want to talk about an “ism”, talk about humanism. The nation-state is a dying political entity. It will take a while, maybe more than our lifetimes, but it will die. The sooner the better.

14 September 2007

Following the path before me

Today we created life. Four lives, to be exact.

Truth to tell, it was yesterday that life was created. Yesterday Hirono and I used her eggs and my sperm to create embryos. Four embryos were created. Each is its own life. They are not yet human. What I feel right now is very visceral. Very instinctual. There is absolutely no question about it. My devotion to this new life is unbreakable. But yet I feel very clearly they are not yet human.

Our goal is to have twins or a single child. If more than two eggs begin to mature in the womb we have a tough question to face. That decision tests the limit of my bond. Herein lies the dilemma of abortion. What sway does our instinct have upon our judgment?

What are the changes to the odds of healthy delivery of children if we go to term on more than two? What happens to Hirono’s body? What are her survival chances? These are the primary factors in that decision. Nobody else can tell us what is right and what is not right. This is a moral dilemma Hirono and I must face together, alone.


22 August 2007

The Only God is Fear

The heart of wisdom is a never ending thirst for the truth, with a little ‘t’. The deepest truth is not dark or bleak in any way. We are frail. We are mortal. We have love and hate and fear inside of us. Fear of this truth leads to ignorance, greed and sloth – and is what drives the great theist religions of this world.

19 August 2007

The Nation-State as Anachronism

Hirono and I went to see Rage Against the Machine tonight. Great show.

Actually, it was called “Rock the Bells” and featured other big names like Wu-Tang Clan, Cyprus Hill, and Public Enemy. It was held in a parking lot in the SOMA district of San Francisco. What a difference from the Poison/Ratt show last weekend.

Whereas the Poison and Ratt show was held out in farmland and very violent, the show tonight was a big mother of a festival and was incredibly peaceful. 50,000 people (sold out!) No seats. Just a stage and a parking lot and some screens for the people further back. The music tonight was much more violent, or at least thats the appearance. The atmosphere of the show was tremendously peaceful, though. The freaks were out in force. Pipes were being passed around, as were joints. It was like day and night compared to the show last weekend. Even the exit was orderly and respectful, without any problem traffic.

It is encouraging to note that the show with 25 times more people was the more peaceful one. There is hope for humanity.

Legalize it!


11 August 2007

You can’t take the country out of the boy

Last night Hirono and I went down to Salinas with a former high school band-mate of hers from Tokyo. We saw the Poison/Ratt show. For people not familiar with the area, Salinas is a very rough town down near Hollister. Its out in farmland and there’s nothing to do there except party. The venue was the local rodeo grounds and the crowd was rowdy redneck through and through. It was just like going to a show in the area where I grew up in Central Florida.

One thing about partying with rowdy rednecks is that you have to expect a fight. Many people come just looking to start a fight. It seems to be a part of the breed. It becomes a problem for me when I’m in amongst it. My own adrenaline starts rushing. I get caught up in the excitement and the show. The violence spills over into me and my inner redneck comes out. Some of the frat brothers called me “backward ass country fuck” as a freshman in college for a reason.

I’m not sure what it was that finally got me into the fray. It might be my farmland upbringing. It my be the fact that one of the ladies I was with was small and frail and asked me to keep her safe when it started to get rough. It might be the raging hormones from being on the induction period of my diet last week. Maybe I just enjoy a bit of the ultra-violent. But next thing you know I find myself in a couple of tussles.

I learned something about myself from it. When provoked enough, and given something that I feel strongly about protecting, I could kill someone. It didn’t happen last night, even when physically confronting the ass who decided to crowd surf with boots and spurs on. But I could kill.

And when thinking of current events, there may be some things worth fighting for.

07 August 2007

That Task is Off My Plate


There’s a byline in the rules that must be added. Then I’ll play the game. I’m a mutant to the meme. Usually a dead end and I don’t reproduce often.

1. I follow a strict diet. Early on I was preachy about it; but, that wore down quickly. Now I’m just living it day to day. It works really well for me (health, energy and physique.)

2. I was in one theater show in high school. It was a truly humiliating experience at the time. Now I think its hilarious. I was in Lil Abner as a “before (scrawny)”. There was a big slide shot without my shirt on. The thing was, I was on a rather hot date that Saturday night before and had hickeys – all over my body. They showed up really well on the slide shot.

3. I will never regret my first marriage. And I’m happier now.

4. I do have a tendency to ‘over-consume’ and have to keep myself in check on many days.

5. I can remember my early childhood fairly well. There are a number things I can recall from when I was two, three, four years old. The world still seems kinda fucked up to me.

6. For about ten years of my life I was blissfully unaware of politics, world events or sports. Then Toast came to visit and was shocked that I didn’t know who Shaquille O’Neal was as we passed by a store that had one of his shoes I the window. It was a big mother of a shoe – shocked me out of my complacency on many levels.

7. My toes make cheese. Alien cheese.

8. I’m a serious metal head. I love to wear leather and my hair long and just generally have a blast. I’m going to see Ratt and Poison this Friday night out at the fair grounds to a county south of here with a couple of ladies from Tokyo. And I have cookies... :^)


Lets Just Start Writing Code

Management gabs and is directionless for too long. I wanna start doing stuff.

I wonder if we could get a serious workforce strike going?


If direct action has worked in the past, why can't it do so now? Direct action to stop the war is a good start. Think big. Think a decade in time span. How about direct action to down-fund the military industrial complex? That would hit both parties pretty hard. And we could learn from stopping the war now.

How do we do it? Anybody up for a brainstorm?


05 August 2007

Another Entry

Who would have ever thought I'd get to a second blog entry. Its probably only because I was here to link to the first entry on Toast's refridgerator thread.

Anyway, I just have to speak my mind. As far as Democrats and Republicans are concerned, both sides are not the same. The Dems aren't as beligerent, pig headed and downright evil as Republicans. However, the Dems are weak willed and unprincipled. They're both in the pocket of corporate interests. I'll vote Dem when I have to kick out the Rep; but, given any reasonable choice outside of the Dems I'll do that instead. What those 'tards just did with FISA is the last straw. Goodbye Dems.

Oh yeah, and no more donations to Dems. Forget it. You gotta earn my money just like I do.

04 August 2007

Hi, here's my fridge

A long time friend of mine, Toast, asserts that you gaze into the soul of another when you stare at their fridge magnet farm. So I'll inaugurate this blog by baring my soul for all to see.