I've spent much time in my life pondering deeper mysteries. Every time I've come away finding nothing; or, as Hemingway would have said it, "nada". But still I felt plagued by a sense that something more profound remained hidden from me. There is a journal I keep filled with thoughts and explorations about myself and the world around me. Most journal entries are made during business trips, when I find companionship in writing. Now, on this trip, I no longer feel the need to explore my thoughts. They are simple, pure and reach deep into the marrow of my bones.
I miss my wife. I miss my babies. I want to be home with them.
26 February 2008
23 February 2008
Good Morning
Its been a productive day. 8:30am. I've finished packing everything except the toothbrush. We walked 4 miles to the gym and back. Had a good workout, Hirono stretched a lot. Back home and ready to go to Inida this morning. I leave in an hour.
Of course, this was all done quite stoned. So I hope I didn't forget anything.
This feels like the last time I'll get high for a while. My card has expired. My stash has run out. I have one last cookie and I'll be whisked off to New Dehli. So many emotions.
This is also my last business trip for a while. Things are changing so dramatically at work. My job is now all about helping other managers do their jobs. Totally different than managing a team yourself. So much more emotional, so many emotions.
The babies have grown so much. Ali-chan is very physical. She's always active and punching or kicking. Lei-chan is active too; but, not as violently active. Lei-chan has long legs and her mouth is constantly moving like she's talking. I have a feeling she's just like her father - an O'C. So many emotions.
My 40th birthday is this coming Tuesday. Arthritis in my hands is constantly with me. I get tired more easily. But I still am very strictly following NHE and when I travel I keep exercising at the gym. 40 is getting pretty old. How can I contribute to the society these girls must live with? So many emotions.
Have a great weekend all.
--e
Of course, this was all done quite stoned. So I hope I didn't forget anything.
This feels like the last time I'll get high for a while. My card has expired. My stash has run out. I have one last cookie and I'll be whisked off to New Dehli. So many emotions.
This is also my last business trip for a while. Things are changing so dramatically at work. My job is now all about helping other managers do their jobs. Totally different than managing a team yourself. So much more emotional, so many emotions.
The babies have grown so much. Ali-chan is very physical. She's always active and punching or kicking. Lei-chan is active too; but, not as violently active. Lei-chan has long legs and her mouth is constantly moving like she's talking. I have a feeling she's just like her father - an O'C. So many emotions.
My 40th birthday is this coming Tuesday. Arthritis in my hands is constantly with me. I get tired more easily. But I still am very strictly following NHE and when I travel I keep exercising at the gym. 40 is getting pretty old. How can I contribute to the society these girls must live with? So many emotions.
Have a great weekend all.
--e
20 February 2008
Confederate Culture Lives On
I cannot help but remember my youth and the hatred mixed with faux morality. The end of this post alludes to the remnants of that culture today and what it can do when it gains ascendancy.
--e
--e
14 February 2008
123 Book Meme
Tagged from Toast. Sorry, homie don't tag others. I don't think I have 5 readers anyway.
Nearest book is "A Net of FireFlies".
This metanoiac shock, known to Sanskrit poetics as Samvegha, has been treated by Ananda Coomaraswamy with his usual scholarly expertise and profound insight in an essay bearing that title in his "Figures of Speech or Figures of Thought?" Samvegha is at all times the unfailing sign and test of the presence of poetry, the essential seed of realization everywhere.
The spontaneous conception and impromptu expression required for a successful haiku are thus a supreme test of poetic concentration, conciseness, and clarity.
Have a pleasant day.
Nearest book is "A Net of FireFlies".
This metanoiac shock, known to Sanskrit poetics as Samvegha, has been treated by Ananda Coomaraswamy with his usual scholarly expertise and profound insight in an essay bearing that title in his "Figures of Speech or Figures of Thought?" Samvegha is at all times the unfailing sign and test of the presence of poetry, the essential seed of realization everywhere.
The spontaneous conception and impromptu expression required for a successful haiku are thus a supreme test of poetic concentration, conciseness, and clarity.
Have a pleasant day.
12 February 2008
40th Birthday Presents
My wife and family gave me the coolest 40th birthday presents. Both of them are a slice of my youth.
From Hirono an educational video for children between the ages of 6 and 10 that I watched when I was very young: "The Best of The Electric Company". Very cool. Ali-chan and Lei-chan won't get to it for many years; but, I'll probably watch some of it tonight!
My mom, dad and brother gave me "The White Album". A different stage of my youth. Also very nice. I'm listening to it now.
Being an adult is different than I thought it would be. Parts of it just don't stick well to me.
--e
From Hirono an educational video for children between the ages of 6 and 10 that I watched when I was very young: "The Best of The Electric Company". Very cool. Ali-chan and Lei-chan won't get to it for many years; but, I'll probably watch some of it tonight!
My mom, dad and brother gave me "The White Album". A different stage of my youth. Also very nice. I'm listening to it now.
Being an adult is different than I thought it would be. Parts of it just don't stick well to me.
--e
08 February 2008
Procrastination
I'm definitely generating a P-Zone today. Three reviews to write by Sunday night and I've set aside the whole day today to do it. Right now I'm four hours into it and have a grand total of one sentence written. Ah, well. At least I made it to the gym this morning.
Update:
Well, that helped. Acknowledging the P-Field has allowed me to crank out one of the reviews. Onward!
Update:
Well, that helped. Acknowledging the P-Field has allowed me to crank out one of the reviews. Onward!
30 January 2008
Background of the moment
Toast once mentioned that refrigerator doors were actually a window into people's souls. Looking for link...
I would say the same of a desktop, in sense of both literal and as a computer metaphor. Here's a picture of mine, in its full screen-wide glory.
Desktop29012008
I've had it up for a while now, maybe two weeks. They usually stay up for about 7 or 8 weeks before they are changed. Most of the time the pictures are either astronomical or from a vacation with Hirono. Often it will be Hirono in the picture. That's liable to change soon with the girls coming. Its still rather hard to believe.
The reason I like the picture is obvious, I totally identify with that dog. I've always felt an identification to the canine, maybe from the very strong bond I had with Trixie. Trixie was my pet dog that I've had since I fist came home from the hospital as a baby. Nobody has ever really replaced a special part of me that was hers. Anyway, I'm the dog.
The dog could be doing one of two things. He could be tearing the toilet paper to shreds, got caught and claimed was too innocent at heart to know it was wrong. He also could simply be saying, "Oh, Shit. I got caught." I'm feeling a bit of both right now. Evidently I've felt that way for a while now and that's why I chose this picture. Its certainly out of the ordinary theme. This moment captures the distillation of the feeling because it shows my mail system is dead and I could now lose tons of emails. He's quite funny looking, too. In the upper right hand corner of the screenshot there's a .gif. It came from a commenter at the Freeper sight. It's a reminder to me of how incredibly pigheaded people can be. I guess I'm really a dog person.
To my many dear readers, what's your desktop right this moment? Put up your own desktops so we can all psychoanalyze you as well.
--e
Update: More than a month of email lost. Oh, joy. My job is totally dominated by email.
--e
I would say the same of a desktop, in sense of both literal and as a computer metaphor. Here's a picture of mine, in its full screen-wide glory.
Desktop29012008I've had it up for a while now, maybe two weeks. They usually stay up for about 7 or 8 weeks before they are changed. Most of the time the pictures are either astronomical or from a vacation with Hirono. Often it will be Hirono in the picture. That's liable to change soon with the girls coming. Its still rather hard to believe.
The reason I like the picture is obvious, I totally identify with that dog. I've always felt an identification to the canine, maybe from the very strong bond I had with Trixie. Trixie was my pet dog that I've had since I fist came home from the hospital as a baby. Nobody has ever really replaced a special part of me that was hers. Anyway, I'm the dog.
The dog could be doing one of two things. He could be tearing the toilet paper to shreds, got caught and claimed was too innocent at heart to know it was wrong. He also could simply be saying, "Oh, Shit. I got caught." I'm feeling a bit of both right now. Evidently I've felt that way for a while now and that's why I chose this picture. Its certainly out of the ordinary theme. This moment captures the distillation of the feeling because it shows my mail system is dead and I could now lose tons of emails. He's quite funny looking, too. In the upper right hand corner of the screenshot there's a .gif. It came from a commenter at the Freeper sight. It's a reminder to me of how incredibly pigheaded people can be. I guess I'm really a dog person.
To my many dear readers, what's your desktop right this moment? Put up your own desktops so we can all psychoanalyze you as well.
--e
Update: More than a month of email lost. Oh, joy. My job is totally dominated by email.
--e
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